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Monday, 18 August 2014

[satire] Facebook Declares War on the Onion and Information Warfare

Facebook bombs the Onion clipart picture

Facebook tests the [satire] tag in front of content from the Onion to protect their users from believing false information. Too many people mistake content from the comedy network that pops up in the "related news" section in Facebook for the truth, thus the social media website takes the needed precautions.
Read the full story bellow. 

Information warfare is not new to the world and has been an important part of any effective international dispute for the last couple of centuries. However, since the creation of the Internet and the mass access to tons of information, it has become key for mass manipulation attempts and establishing control over a large part of the world.

The world of information warfare chart


From disguising propaganda and spreading manipulated and twisted real world information, to unjustly branding individuals with false crimes and turning the mass opinion against and in favour of various organizations and establishments, deception has had many faces throughout the years.

Many terrorist, activist and racist organizations including the KKK, Hamas, the Al-Nusra Front, al-Qaeda, Boko Haram and the White Power Supremacists have been well known to conduct serious efforts in Information warfare for their own purposes.

Maybe the most notorious example is the Anonymous organization, which in the recent years have gained great popularity and publicity for hacking various online resources and publicising secret information over the Internet.
the Onion logo
In 1996, a large entity was established as a means to supply the general public with falsified information. The Onion or as they self proclaim themselves - "America's Finest News Source" is a disgusting pipeline that delivers 100% false content to more than 11 million unique visitors each month, while attaining a solid and active following. 
Disguised as a comedy network, creating the so called "news satire", the Onion creates news stories with the exact same tone, structure and depth as trusted news networks such as Fox and CNN, however supplies only pure lies, backed by manipulated statistics.

George w. Bush president of the United States of America
Legally, the Onion is untouchable since they declare their content satire, thus dodging disinformation charges. There are also hints the network has had political, legal and financial backing from the Bush family in return for lending their information pipeline and their public to George W. Bush's private online representatives and PR team. The last, although most likely true, is not confirmed due lack of evidence.

Being virtually untouchable in the USA, the Onion quickly and effectively dominated the web with it's "news satire" content and to this day continues to hold a firm grasp over millions of people.

The propaganda is carefully created to resemble accurate information, backed by real data. Upon first look, it's hard to distinguish fake news from real ones, but anyone with basic computer and Internet skills and more than 50 IQ score can determine the legitimacy under five minutes.

Primarily populated with people that cover neither requirement, the social media giant Facebook has sustained immense damage. Stories appearing as "related news" in the news feed have manipulated people into spending their life time fortunes investing in illegal organizations and funding terrorist acts, including the 9/11 and Pearl Harbour incidents.

A third of the Onion's followers on Facebook have made transactions towards the same bank account in a Philippines bank. Later investigation shows multiple bank operations with the said account from co-founder of the organization Tim Keck who is third cousins with an al-Qaeda member fake double agent.

The Zuckerberg dynasty decided they've had enough, when they discovered one of their users followed a link to the Onion and was then convinced to initiate the Russia - Ukraine conflict as well as personally take down the Malaysia Airlines flight MH17.

Apparently, the Facebook digital crime unit was presented with a lead about the event and after thorough research was authorised a one time access to private user information to back their claims with hard evidence.

Facebook Police


After consulting with the federal judiciary of the United States, Facebook received permission to disclose the user's private information in attempt to apprehend, debrief and extract evidence against the Onion network.

Amir al'Jihad is a relatively dark-but-not-too-much-black male in his thirties. He's been in an open relationship with {to remain anonymous} for three years, after which (conducted from his comment on a third party's profile picture and his "poke" record) they separated due cheating from his side.

Depression and guilt over his actions led him to "like" the Onion Facebook page and being weak and susceptible to external influence, led him to follow their propaganda and execute the hideous crimes.
The social media announced a reward for anyone who has information about his whereabouts.

The Zuckerberg family has promised "eight thousand real likes/follows from hot representatives of the opposing gender" - states a representative.

Since there is no way to legally pursue the Onion for their crimes against humanity, the social media overlord Mark Zuckerberg had no option but to implement security measures to protect his nation from future information attacks. Facebook is a free platform and there is little options to censure content form public eyes, however, the backend developers are testing a new tag system that would act as an early warning for users.

[satire] tag test by Facebook


The [satire] tag would appear before the headline of any Onion produced content and would thus deter users from following dangerous propaganda. Overlord Zuckerberg has decided against more harsh signals, as to not produce mass panic and hysteria in online space.

For now, we can only preview the Facebook tests in certain accounts, but the website has announced that in two months, every Onion content as well as content form their extensive network will be tagged and monitored for the safety of the majority of the media's population.