For the open-minded, non-topical internet user...

Tuesday, 18 March 2014

Hated Films You Really Love

One thing I've learned in this life is that people have different opinions about everything. Specially movies and music. Even the closest beings have their differences. You might think Star Wars is outstanding, but your bestest friend, who you've known for 20 years, says it's crap and it's the worst thing ever to come out on the big screen. Everyone has such dissimilar tastes and that's okay.

Olivia Wilde Tron Legacy
Very Wilde
There are some movies which were rubbish by most standards. Critics and the general audience hated them. Yet, I bet you are secretly in love with them and you still re-watch them every now and then.

The 13th Warrior (1999)

The critics didn't really love this one. But that's why they are critics... The audience on the other hand sort of loved it. Even though the earnings were far smaller than the budget (budget: $160 mil; earnings: $61 mil), it still found a way to our hearts.

The 13th Warrior poster

When you read the reviews it'll the plot is thin, the writers weren't any good, the money was wrongly spent, but that's not what I remember. Every time I drive through some valley filled with mist, I remember the battle scenes from the film. How the fiends come with the falling fog and attack the warriors. 

And absolutely every time I watch the movie, I hold my breath while they are escaping the layer through the water. It's just something I have to do. So far Antonio Banderas always wins. It's those little things that make me smile when I watch it. I don't care if it's impossible to learn a language in a few weeks, just by observing. I know there were a lot of plot hose. So what? 

Godzilla (1998)

Also know as American Godzilla. It's quite different from the original. Not only visually, but the creature behaves in another fashion, it's less smarter, it didn't have a beam and it's not actually called Godzilla, but Zilla. You have to admit it looked really awesome. 

Godzilla 1998
Yes, it's not actually Godzilla, the king of the monsters, but who cares? It's a giant mutated lizard that destroys the city. There are guns, bombs, submarines, destroyed skyscrapers, roaring, cheesy lines. What more do you want? Even if all the critics in the world hate it, I will always be a fan. Why? First, it looked really good. For a film made in 1998 it had splendid CG and the monster was very realistic for the period.

Second - I just love how Jean Reno imitates the Americans. Chewing gum and Presley accent is what sold it to me. Third - The soundtrack. How many of you still sing P. Diddy's "Come with Me" in the bathroom? Or "Going deeper Underground" by Jamiroquai? They became instant hits and the videos were as amusing. 

Tron: Legacy (2010)

They say it's not as good as the original. They say it's a children's film. Well, the original wasn't that good either... at least according to experts. 

It came out four years ago and I've seen it about three or four times. It didn't have the deepest plot, but not everything you watch has to be in the same category as Pi or Memento. Sometimes you just want to watch something amusing, but with less brain activity required. And this is the perfect film. 

I love the design. Rinzler was even on my desktop for a few months. Many people love it and are inspired from it. Have you seen the Lambo Aventador? Or that Playboy issue with the Tron girls? There are even credit cards with the same design. And the music from the film is used in so many trailers, TV shows and YouTube videos. If it was such a disaster, it wouldn't be so influential. 

And Olivia Wilde looked pretty hot in there. Plus a few other girls. Good for the eye, that's all I'm saying.

Wild Wild West (1999)

Another film from that period. I am feeling quite alone defending the picture. I grew up with the illusion it was funny, smart and everyone loved it. Turns out everyone said it sucks. Even Will Smith thinks it was a mistake. But who cares? You'll continue watching it even if they say it's the worst film in the history of movie making.

Wild Wild West
Just another day in the West
The atmosphere is just unique. Giant spiders, kooky inventions, interesting clothing styles, The Fresh Prince as a cowboy. All these things combined make a very amusing motion picture. There is some laughter, some tension, some Sisqo. It might be because it's something from your childhood and you can't stop loving it, or it might be because you are afraid to admit this film is no good, but you'll continue reviewing it.

Spawn (1997)

This should have been called "Films you love to hate from the 90s". Thank you, Tron for being the only film here from another decade. 

Not everyone is a comicbook fan, but as the Avengers have proven, you don't need to be a fan to enjoy a comicbook movie. But this one didn't become as popular. Maybe the persona is too dark. Or maybe it wasn't that good. Some say it was filled with effects and the plot was thinner than a strippers lingerie. Or that sometimes it's hard to give life to comicbooks. Who knows? 

Spawn Movie
Violator Watching from the Back
But I know you loved it. This was one of the first more-modern superhero films you've seen. It was different from Batman, because this one had demonic super powers. It was different from Steel or Superman. A big red cape floating around, the mask, the big bad guy. Everything was so different. You had fights with your friends and everyone wanted to be Spawn, because was so cool. Whipping chains and speaking in a dark voice. Even the Powerpuff Girls included the hero in one of their episodes and he became even more interesting for you.

No matter what people say, I'll continue watching my Spawn DVD at least once a year. And I will always listen to the soundtrack, because it's one of the best Nu-Metal compilations ever.

Eurotrip (2004)

Hardly anyone hates Eurotrip, but the critics somehow hated it. Probably, because it's a teen movie and they generally hate them all. Or because it was really absurd at some points. Or because it's insulting to some nations. But it's humour and it's meant to be funny, not insulting.

Actually, I believe that the only people who didn't like it were the discriminated ones. They think it's cool to hate. 

That aside, I bet you are still singing "Scotty Doesn't know" or say "Mi Scusi" to your friends, while travelling by train. "This isn't where I parked my car" is another memorable quote. It was so amazingly funny and kind of iconic for all the teenagers. And when you realized that the skinhead singing on the party was Mat Damon, the film became probably one of your most favourite comedies ever. 

My Message ringtone is still "Mail Motherf*cker" and it will continue to be. They don't make idiotic comedies like this any more.

Doom (2005)

It's too late to look back, Ain't ok, I've got no way to switchback.

Celldweller's song was in the trailer 9 years ago. When you saw it for the first time you were wondering "is that the Rock?". Then they show his massive back and show his face. Your favourite WWF wrestlers is in a movie based on one of your favourite shooters! Wow! 

Doom Poster
Remember how skinny the Rock was back then
And it came out. People hated it and you were wondering why. It was pretty intense. Scary moments, Pinky, FPS. A lot of new stuff for the big screen. Many people thought it was stupid to mix games and movies, but that's what attracted gamers. And after all, it wasn't made by Uwe Boll, so it doesn't mean it would suck. 

"It's a mindless action". Well duuh! You don't need a smart action, you just want the brutality, the blood, the monsters, the shooting, the testosterone. And Doom brings all of it. Watch it with friends and this action horror will become a friendly comedy. And that's what you want - fun time. 

Judge Dredd (1995)

Aye Em The Law!!!

All the know-it-alls hate it. But it became a cult. This simple line is still consider one of the best lines ever. With Sly's accent it became even more popular. 

I really don't know what people don't like about it. It's not very complicated, but it wasn't intended to be. It was memorable and funny. If they didn't want it to be funny, they wouldn't have chosen Schneider. It's again one of those motion pictures where people gather with friends to watch and have a laugh. 

Why everyone has to be so judgemental? 

Which film is your secret pleasure? The one that you are ashamed to love, but you can't stop yourself?