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Thursday, 21 November 2013

4 Perfect Reasons To Make You HATE Your Favourite Burger

Fast food corporations with a restriction sign

Those who have worked in the fast food business know what will follow. For all the rest and I also include my self at the time I made research on the topic, buckle up. You're about to take the roller coaster of the most shocking things that go in your burger.

1. The backroom

It's the place where your food is prepared, one short trip inside and you might never want to visit a restaurant again. EVER. While even our home kitchen gets covered in grease eventually, a fast food place will produce enough filth for a few apartment buildings in a shift. Needless to say, frequent sanitation is a must. Again, needless to say, frequent sanitation is not existent. But how bad can it really get?

So far, this rant may not have convinced you, so let's go graphical.

For instance, would you eat something cooked in here ?

Filthy sweets shop
This bad
That white cement like substance, hardened over the stoves, yeah, that's food, or at least it used to be. That was before you needed a construction machine to take it off. Do you remember last week's pancakes with strawberry jam at the local shop? Were they good? Were they good enough you can ignore this image?

If all three answers were “Yes”, your digestive system and sense of cleanliness are completely broken or non-existent.

Filthy oven
And...This bad
Mmmm, roasted ectoplasm sounds so good right now... I can almost bet that no one can accidentally produce such a disgusting result inside an oven. It's almost like these cooks have a super power to create filth. This “food” is so unrecognisable, I'm pretty sure an art critic can take it as a new form of abstract art and sell it for millions.
All of this junk goes more or less into the taco/burger/donut you stuff your face with every morning at work. 

You probably guess what comes next. All this food debris and whatever the most harsh synonym for filth is, lead to only one thing – infestations.

Cockroaches behind fridge
These poor cockroaches were just minding their own business,
before the rude man pulled away the fridge.
Rats, flies, cockroaches, hobos and alien life forms that feed on crap...
You can find pretty much anything after this mayhem.
Those small things there, behind the fridge, are cockroaches, hundreds of them.
 It's hard to swallow, but not all of us are Bear Grylls and naturally, we don't consider insects as food. So, it's a bit dissatisfactory to find out our soon to be food is swarmed with nuclear resistant, disease carrying, antenna bobbing cockroaches, for the love of...

I won't be surprised if Google actually studies filthy restaurant kitchens in search of ways to improve their crawler bots. Makes perfect sense to me, at least.

Rat excrements
Not candy
You know what's that ? - Poo! You know whose poo is this? - Rats'

Rats in kitchen
The rat on the right: Oh, I'm sorry, you were going to eat that?
I'll just leave
Yes, rats. If you haven't got enough still, imagine a cat sized rat which eats, walks over and defecates on your burgers. It's the same garbage muncher who throws raves down the sewers in all of our poo. The same juicy burgers you stuff your throat with every morning. I guess that urine sauce really makes you crave for more.

2. The bathroom

This one you probably already have in mind, but it's worth to say a few word about. You've been in at least three different restaurant toilets that look like the image above. The ones where you wonder if you're going to pick of some sort of mutation caused by the toxicity inside.

You know, every once in a while it's understandable to find a bit of piss inside lefty by the not so hygienic truck driver who also ate there. The staff actually has a thousand more things to do beside to wipe after people who never learned how to “aim” properly.

Filthy restaurant toilet
Storage facility for fast food
reprocessing by-products
However, when you consider whether to buy new shoes or not, just because you set your foot inside a what seems to be toxic wasteland, it's a reason to be concerned. Furthermore, if the customers toiled is covered in human waste 24/7, you can pretty much bet the staff toilet will be nothing better than disaster. The bad thing in the scenario is not that the toiled is toxic, but the fact the employees carry the filth back to the place your food is made. In the previous example the kitchens are so bad, a filthy toilet or two will not make much of a difference, but in the general case, they will.

3. The food itself

The media gives an uprising to the next gross object found in somebody's sandwich every two months. There is never a logical explanation to why and how exactly it's found it's way into your mouth, so don't fret on the details. As to list all of them would be impossible, here are a few hand picked examples to shatter your impression of the general level of sanity and intelligence of the public.

The deep fried chicken head in a McDonald's happy meal

Fried chicken head
"God will judge you for this"
An American mother and her two children went to the restaurant and ordered two happy meals with chicken for the kids and a hamburger with chips for the woman. As one of the children didn't eat their chicken nuggets, the mother reached across to help herself to some chicken. What she grabbed was a deep fried chicken head. After they complained to the manager he offered them two weeks of free meals in a desperate attempt to buy them off. The mother had some common sense and took the food chain to court. The case scored 100,000 dollars, just a tiny bit over two weeks of burgers. Only logical explanation to how the head found it's way inside the children's plate is a cultist sacrificial ritual for more sales. However, that's not really a sane way of thinking, even for Ronald McDonald.

The knife inside the Subway sandwhich

Knife in subway sandwich
Italian cold-cut trio - special edition
John Agnesini, design director of "HX Magazine" made a shocking discovery in his favourite Subway sandwich – the Italian cold-cut trio. After a few bites, the man pulled a full fledged 18 centimetre serrated knife out of his sub. He later sued the restaurant. What could have been inside the head of the “sandwich artist” while he made the food.
“This will be my latest artwork. I call it – A customer took a huge bite out of my god damn bread knife.”

The razor blade in a Burger King burger

Razor in Burger King burger
The steel really compliments the taste
A woman took a bite out of her burger and was shocked to discover a razor blade inside her food. Forty-six year old Yolanda Orozco specifically ordered a no onion burger. After the first bite, she checked to see if the order was executed properly. And good thing, too, because one more bit and the razor might have caused considerable harm to the woman. 
The police department later discovered no intentional crime had happened, but rather the employees of the restaurant were sloppy with their attitude towards the sharp objects. 

Three of the top fast food joints have screwed up so bad, I can only imagine what happens in the smaller ones. Thousands and thousands of cases are there where customers find all sorts of little and not so little insects in their meals. Cockroaches, flies, spiders and more continue to show up in our soup.

And while discoveries in our food tend to happen rarely because, as they will at least make the effort to pass the plate as presentable and edible, the attitude of employees towards our food is beyond any border.

4. The Service

The five seconds rule

First of all, the rule is garbage. No bacteria will wait your five seconds to swarm up the place.
Chef scooping food into a plate
You have to eat your veggies
Second, while in a way you can actually pick up dropped food (e.g. you dropped your biscuit on the table), it's only possible if dropped on a clean surface.

A restaurant kitchen floor is as filthy as they get before we include sewers and landfills into the picture. Hell, some dumps can probably argue with some kitchens on which is more clean.
A dropped biscuit on your coffee table you can maybe pick up and eat, whereas, a juicy, covered in sauce, steak will stick the tiles to itself.
As you can imagine, most of the stuff dropped on the floor will end up in your plate, unless the cook doesn't decide it's not enough. In this case, you can pretty much expect saliva...

Don't argue with the one who serves your food

A man spitting
A graphical representation
It's also well know restaurant staff will spit in your food if they don't like you. 
  • You argued with the waitress? - Spit in food. 
  • You said the beef was too raw? - Spit in food.
  • The manager got caught cheating? - Spit in food. 
  • Bananas? - Yeah, that's right...
In every food serving facility there is at least one member of the staff who will empty their mouth in your food like they will get a reward for it.

 And then, there is storage

A mouldy wall
No, this is not an alien breeding den.
It's mould.
Restaurant ingredients are stored
with a little less caution than the common junk-yard. Poor or no ventilation in many food chains leads to massive mould spread throughout storage facilities. And don't take any manager's excuse that penicillin is found in mould and therefore, it's completely safe. It's exactly as safe as to collect the toxic sludge from the toilet and use it as butter on your toast.

Another concern would be spoiled meat and ingredients kept way above their lifespan. The daily special is nothing more than leftover supplies the chef tries to get rid of. There is simply no way a restaurant will throw away ingredients and order new ones, just to serve you fresh.
Beware of meat served with sauces or dips, all you can eat offers, appetizers free of charge and of course pre-served drinks. Those are all things the restaurant wants to ditch, but still make a few pounds from.

Table of freshness of restaurant supplies:
  •  Fresh – one to two days past inspiration date
  •  Usable – three to four weeks past inspiration date
  •  Just don't tell the customers – coeval of the Industrial Revolution
  • What the hell, they'll eat it anyway – Fossil Dinosaur Meat
    Spoiled meat
    Still in the fresh category
An employee had enough and exposed his restaurant - The Golden Corral, in it's disgusting practice to escape inspection problem. The video below, is him explaining and showing how the restaurant hides meat, they will later sell to customers, in their dumpster area.

You can pretty much expect similar practices from any restaurant, so be very careful where you eat.
I don't know about you, but I most definitely have a paranoia already and wont be seeing fast food in a while.

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