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Friday, 21 November 2014

12 Apps To Use While Pooping

Toilet time for some of us is very sacred. For those of you who do number two under two minutes, you are not enjoying life. Pooping is the time for thoughts, for relaxation and for cleansing. You cleanse your mind from bad thought and you cleanse your body from that lasagne you ate last night.

Time Surfer App

To make number two a better experience, people invented mobile phones. With time, phones became smarter so we can enjoy a bigger variety of games and apps. Now we have really intelligent mobile devices that can offer us the best poop experience ever.

What are the best app to use while pooping?

1. PoopLog

It's not a game, but PoopLog is very essential for the toilet. This app can tell you if you have health issues. You might think this is a joke, but I hope you never have to use it.

Sometimes people get sick and they need to take notes of their bowel movement. So you can track the shape, amount, volume. You can also add information about the pain. The next version will even have support for colour, blood, mucus and others. 

This way you can see if everything is all right and you need to check a doctor or not. And the best part - you can add photos and share them to Facebook or other social media. How cool is that?


2. Unblock Car

A poop game should be simple and not-stressful. It's really unpleasant when you are just about to drop the deuce and the hard part of the level appears. Then you clench your sphincter and ruin the whole moment.

Unblock Car App


That's why you can play games like Unblock Car. The mission is simple - remove the red car by moving the others. A puzzle game for wasting time. There are levels for the advanced minds, but there are easier options for the beginners. You can even choose from different visual sets.


3. Tic Tac Toe

I won't give you an exact app here. There are so many versions for Android and iPhone - just choose the best for you. 


We know the game and how simple it could be. Train your mind against the AI. Become an expert and then beat your friend in real life. It's a wonderful way to waste 10 minutes of your day. If you have a shared toilet with your soul-mate or teammate (Sochi), you can even play it together on one device. The joy!

4. 2048

If you haven't heard or played this game, you probably lived in a cave or you just got your first smart phone (although you can play it on you computer too).

2048 app game


The purpose of 2048 is to combine different numbers - 2, 4, 8 etc, and make the next big number. In the end you have to get to 2048. It's not an easy job, but you definitely can try. There are whole guides and methods online to teach you how to master the game.

Newer version even have multiplayer.

5. Flow Free: Bridges

This is the advanced version of Flow Free. In Bridges (available for iOS and Android) you have to connect two points without crossing the streams. The bridges make it a bit more complicated. In further levels you can even have more than one bridge.


It needs some thinking, but after a few levels you get the idea and can become a master and beat every level on Perfect. I can't take a dump any more without that game.

6. Time Surfer

Available for iOS and Android. Time Surfer is a very visually pleasing game. You have various space sceneries, so many colours around you and it just so pleasant to play. You almost can't feel the 20 minutes of pooping with such an app.

You have to escape death by surfing with you character. The hero evades different obstacles, but some times you simply can't escape faith. Actually you can, because you have super sweet time powers. You can rewind and do your move again. 

7. Zookeeper Battle

This is exclusive for iOS. It's a very popular game where you can fight against other people. You can collect animals and use them in battle. Every round is 30 seconds long, so it doesn't take a lot of time. You can also collect animals, backgrounds. But bare in mind - it's a freemium. You can get addicted and spend a lot of money.

8.  Dots: A Game About Connecting

Don't read Dota, it's Dots! A simple puzzle game is exactly what you need for number two. You just connect the dots with the same colours. It has nice animations and pleasant sound. This and the simple design makes it really unique.


It's so simple that it's addictive. There are even different modes for your convenience - Timed, moved, endless etc.

9. 7 Little Words

7 Little Words is a game where you actually have to think.
"Each bite-size puzzle consists of 7 clues, 7 mystery words, and 20 letter groups. Find the mystery words by deciphering the clues and combining the letter groups."
Again, it's a freemium which means you will get really addicted and will have to pay to unlock more levels. You are the person who decided how valuable your toilet time is.

10. Cartoon Wars

It's a mixture of tower defence and real time strategy. Cartoon Wars has great animation, great ideas and it's probably one of the most fun games I've ever played. The issues with this one is that it could get a little too time consuming and stressful.


When you are fighting bosses or trying to beat the harder levels your stool will stay in you from all the pressure. So be warned.

11.  Flappy Crush

Do you remember that annoying game Flappy Bird? Of course you do, everybody played it, some even made money out of it. Flappy Crush uses the same graphics, but it's more fun. Why? Because your goal is to destroy as many of those stupid birds as you can. You simply crush them and you can enjoy the pile of bird bones on the ground.

It really helps after a stressful day at work.


12. Whack Your Teacher

Kids, violence is not the answer. If you whack somebody, it better be inside this game. Whack Your Teacher is like whack your boss. But it's visually better. It really helps to release the stress after a hard day at work. Then you go to the bathroom and release the Kraken. You can download Whack your Boss, but there are more bugs with that one.

Conclusion

There are tons of games and apps out there suitable for pooping. But those are my favourite ones. Can you share how you spend your toilet time? Please, don't share any pictures.