Desmond Doss – The Pacifist
War is perfect for young, angry men who would gladly die for their homeland (and score a few headshots in the meantime). And while to take a life in times of peace is to be judged as one of the most awful crimes a person can do, during war it's not only justified, but rather glorified. Well, not if you're a follower of the Seventh-day Adventist. You see, Desmond Doss was born and raised in a super-religious family for which all killings, no matter how necessary, where a big no-no.What really got Desmond Doss the status of an ultimate badass (and a Medal of Honour by the way, only the highest medal a US soldier can receive) happened near Urasoe Mura, Okinawa on April 29, 1945. His 1st Battalion assaulted a jagged escarpment 120m high, while advancing to the city of Okinawa, when his unit got under a heavy machinegun, mortar and artillery fire. This resulted in the immediate death of at least 75, and heavy-wounding at least three times more American units. Something like this, but without the joy and not dying:
being the proud and patriotic American he was, he felt obligated to
serve his country when it needed him most. As you can imagine, not wanting to
kill anybody didn`t give him much of an option in the army, so he
enlisted as a medic. He absolutely refused to carry any sort of a
weapon, even a pocket knife, which led to him being the favourite victim
of mocking by his fellow comrades. Or at least in the beginning. But
when the bullets started to rain, and bodies began to fall, he showed
them the dough he was made of. He would regularly sprint in the line of
fire, just meters away from the enemy guns, to grab his wounded fellows
and drag them to safety.
|Except killing beats that is.|
While most of the unfallen soldiers tried to seek cover, or just got into fetal position crying about their mommies, Desmond Doss was the only one standing in the middle of it, trying to save the most men he could. During the next 20 days of constant fights, he rescued more than 100 soldiers.
During one of his acts, he got injured by an enemy grenade, but instead of seeking aid to himself, being the man he is, he first aided a more severely-injured comrade and just after he saw him 'fixed', he touched a rifle for the first time. Just to use it as a crutch and walk himself and his fellow-man to safety.
For his outstanding bravery and exclusive determination on the battlefield, Desmond Doss received the highest honour a soldier could get, a Medal of Honour, without even shooting a weapon once. After the war he returned to his home town of Lynchburg, Virginia, where he frequently shoved how good of a Christian he was in the face of his father who once caught him looking at the post-office lady's cleavage as a kid and convinced him he was gonna go to Hell.
Jacklyn H. Lucas – Mr Immortal
|*PEW PEW PEW* `Murica|
The following day, when he failed to show on duty they figured maybe he didn`t have such a mild temper. 30 days later, they found him on board of USS Deuel, who was docking on the shores of Iwo Jima. On the very second day of landing, Jacklyn Lucas and three of his fellow-soldiers found themselves in a trench, when a Japaneese patrol opened fire on them. Subsequently two hand grenades were thrown in the trench. Private Lucas heard the evolutionary call of self-preservence screaming in his ears and gave it a good laugh while doing the exact opposite – he jumped over the grenades in an attempt to save his mates.
|In comparison, it's like dating those two ladies in black, so your friend can go to second base with the cute one.|
|But not his balls, they were made of hardest steel|
Jack Churchill – Mad JackWhen you prepare for war, you make sure you're fully equipped with the latest armour, latest weapon and latest technology your country can provide you. You know, so you can be fully prepared to meet the most advance war technology the other side has to offer. Well, that idea didn`t go well with the likes of Jack Churchill. Having served in Burma for Her Majesty's Armed Forces, he had a “finally, let's do this” attitude when it came to wars. And he was damned sure prepared for it. His outfit consisted of a long Scottish sword (a claymore), a longbow and his beloved bagpipes. His motto - "any officer who goes into action without his sword is improperly dressed".
It's no wonder he had the only confirmed arrow kill in the WWII, when his Regiment ambushed a German patrol near L'Epinette, France. But if you think his eccentricity ends here, you're in for a treat. After the British command saw his potential, he was made second in charge of No. 3 Commando Battle Unit. On 27 December 1941, his unit was sent to a special mission called Operation Archery. It's goal - to assault a German garrison at Vågsøy, Norway. Some might approach this task with stealth and secrecy. Mad Jack approached it while playing "March of the Cameron Men" on his bagpipes, while throwing grenades and probably making it into the nightmares for German children for the next 50 years.
In July 1943, already as a commanding officer, his men were given the task to take out a German observation post outside of the town of Molina, Italy. On that day he managed to capture 42 German prisoners using only the help of his beloved claymore.
Later, his force was moved to Yugoslavia, to support Josip Broz Tito's Partisans against the Germans positioned on the isle of Vis. It was on one of his assaults, where all his comrades were killed, while and overwhelming attack by the Germans was taking place. Left alone, he did what a skilled veteran was trained to do – he started playing his bagpipes again.
|Come here you basket-face slipper-wielding bloody nazi barmpots|
Michael Wittmann – The Black Baron
Michael Wittmann, also known as the Black Baron, was the son of a farmer and a stay-at-home mom. When he grew old enough he found salvation from the grey, depressing rural life in the thrilling, always sunshine and rainbows joy of being a German Soldier in the pre-WWII times. He quickly grew in rank to become a commissioned officer and was sent to the peaceful fields of the Eastern Front where he was trained to be a peace-resolving operator of a German Panzer.
|The WWII equivalent of an ice-cream truck|
|Can I have a word with you about our Lord and saviour the God of Death?|
I had no time to assemble my company; instead I had to act quickly, as I had to assume that the enemy had already spotted me and would destroy me where I stood. I set off with one tank and passed the order to the others not to retreat a single step but to hold their ground.And quickly is how he acted. He was able to manoeuvre behind the enemy and in a traditional Blitzkreig-style of fighting he managed to destroy 13–14 tanks, two anti-tank guns and 13–15 transport vehicles, of which was constructed the whole 7th Armoured British Division. Single-handedly. With only his tank. By himself. By the time the rest of the German soldiers got to understand what was happening, it was all over. So they just continued eating their würst-breakfests.
|It's OK Mike, we'll have a cold one while you retake Paris by yourself.|
Simo Häyhä – The White Death
His tactic was plain in structure. He would go to the woods he grew in, knowing the place of every inch of snow, and would stay hidden in -30 degrees temperature all day, waiting for some Russian soldiers to walk by his sight. He did it hardcore-style. No telescopic sight to reveal his position, covered in snow and not moving to scratch his butt all day if necessary. Some modern young users of X-Box might even call him a 'camping fag'. In his 'bad days' he would go home with only 5 kills confirmed. In his best, he did 25. That's two football teams plus the referees if it's easier for you to comprehend. The Russians where so afraid of him, they would regularly call air strikes on places they thought he might eventually be. They would sent snipers on their own to hunt him, just so those sniper could be included in Häyhä's killcount.
|He was doing this all over the map.|