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Monday, 16 March 2015

Dinosaurs Which Are More Joke-Worthy Than The T-Rex

"T-Rex hates pushups"
Aren't we a bit tired by all the Tyrannosaurus Rex jokes? OK, we get that the poor predator can't go to the toilet, can't use paper, can't take a selfie or it can't work out. The T-Rex was ferocious and could have killed you without using his arms. It was a big killing machine.

Death Bulge T-Rex comics

That's why I decided to give you a list of dinosaurs which deserve more mockery than the Tyrannosaurus.

Carnotaurus

To be honest, the Carnotaurus looks really awesome. It has devil horns right above the eyes, it has many teeth and it's a dangerous predator. It's quite fast and it could jump higher than you would expect.

Carnotaurus short arms


But look at it's arms! They are barely visible. You have all this scary looks and then your prey notices the arms and starts laughing. Maybe that was the main strategy of this carnivore. Distracting you with laughter.

Mononykus

Talking about small arms... This little guy (1 meter long) is practically one unlucky creature. The Carnotaurus might have comically small front limbs, but at least it's a big-ass predator. This one is basically a chicken.

Mononykus is funny


You know how there are creatures which exists just to feed other, bigger creatures. This is a perfect example. A running chicken with small arms. But it could run in high speeds and it usually hunted (yes, it's a predator) during the night. So it wasn't as pathetic as you think. 

Probably a few of these could eat a child.

Tsintaosaurus

The Tsintaosaurus is all right with proportions. Limbs are okay, looks like a regular herbivore with one small detail.

It has a dildo on the head.

Tsintaosaurus dildo head

You might say that this bone on the forehead is a majestic horn, it's unicorn-like and probably has magical skills. But it really looks like a dildo. It even has balls-shaped thingies at the bottom of the shaft. And scientists have still got no clue, why a dinosaur would need a boner there. 

Deinocheirus

Look at this interesting specimen. There is nothing majestic in it. It looks like a fat version of a skinnier dinosaur, but this is its default looks.

Deinocheirus the thief

And it has this posture, like the Deinocheirus is always ready to steal something. It "possessed the longest forelimbs known for any bipedal dinosaurs". It was made to steal sh*t! 

Therizinosaurus

Let's meet Deinocheirus's cousin - the Therizinosaurus. It is even uglier and bigger. The friends call him Fred, short for the Freddy Krueger of the Dinosaurs.

Therizinosaurus Krueger

Have you seen its claws? They are around 1 meter long. That's longer than half of your body (if you are not a basketball/volleyball player). It looks scary, but thankfully it was herbivorous. Still, I wouldn't want to get on the bad side of this ugly bast3rd.

Kosmoceratops

This is the ancestor of our favourite Triceratops. If it wasn't for this clown, dinosaur movies would be a lot duller. But they really looked funny and kind of unfinished.

Kosmoceratops Clown Face

Look at it... It looks like your old drunken uncle Bob. With the big nose and the small eyes, looking at you, but not actually seeing you. And that horn on top of the nose looks broken. Poor uncle Bob.

Rhinorex

Rhinorex, aka Jimmydurantesaurus, is a dinosaur with not much of a history. You probably know it by the name "That dinosaur with the nose". Even the name is not very original - rhin means nose (from Greek) and Rex is king. King of the noses... poor thing.

Rhinorex Jimmy Durante

Longisquama

This is a really, really small dinosaur. Yet, it can still pass as a dinosaur and it certainly should be in the list of funny prehistoric reptiles.

Longisquama Feather back

Dinosaurs With Stupid Names

Even if you look good, your name might be something to joke about. So here is a list of dinosaurs, which where hated by their mothers.

  1. Scrotum humanum - you probably know it as Megalosaurus. But the first scientific name given was Scrotum Humanum. The first bone they found of this dino looked a lot like a human scrotum, so...
  2. Technosaurus - Although, it's a really nice name for a DJ or a Call of Duty nickname, it's actually a name for a dinosaur. 
  3. Microraptor - no bigger than a chicken. And it actually had feathers.
  4. Erectopus - Literal translation - Upright foot. It has nothing to do with what you thought.
  5. Drinker - that's the actual name of it. Named after Edward Drinker Cope. It didn't have a lot of choices in life. 
  6. Gasosaurus - when it was nervous it played the one man salute. That's why everyone avoided it and they gave the nickname Gasosaurus. 
  7. Irritator - it's part of the same family our well-known Spinosaurus comes from. It irritate some people back in the day, so they got really furious and gave it that name.
  8. Sinusonasus - I don't need to explain why it's funny.
  9. Piatnitzkysaurus - nothing funny here, but it's really hard to pronounce it.